Trade with discipline. Document every blowup.

A prop trader's unfiltered journey through the NQ — from blowups to funded accounts. Raw. Documented. Real. Every pattern exposed, every rule tested.

NQ Futures • Prop Trading • TPT
Chapter 01

Becoming aware
of my own patterns

Every blown account, every revenge trade, every sub-30-second disaster — documented. The first step was seeing it clearly. Without excuses.

Chapter 02

Learning to
change patterns

Knowing the pattern is not enough. Changing behavior under pressure — when the trade is live and the P&L is moving — that is the actual work.

Chapter 03

Making profits
by sticking to rules

The edge was never the setup. It was always the discipline. One trade. Right size. Right stop. Walk away. Every day.

Origin

Who is Ben

I'm a 39-year-old NQ futures trader based in Berlin. Trading for 2.5 years across TPT, Lucid, Apex, FundingTricks.

This blog is the unfiltered truth. Not a highlight reel. Every blowup documented. Every breakdown analyzed. Every rule broken — and why.

My technical analysis is solid. The gap is psychological, not technical. That's what this journal tracks: the systematic dismantling of self-sabotage, one session at a time.

US session — ORB setups, SMT divergence, EMA/VWAP on NQ Mini. My confirmed edge: trades held 2–10 minutes.

InstrumentNQ Mini / Micro
Prop FirmTakeProfitTrader
PlatformTradovate
Primary SetupsORB, SMT, 9EMA
SessionUS 16:00–23:00 CEST
Confirmed Edge2–10 min holds
Biggest Flaw<30sec trades
Current Status25K Eval → Funded
Journal

Latest entries

01
Life • Psychology • Reset
Everything Together: Life, Debt, and the Reset
I'm 39. ~€80k in debt. Three days of water fasting in Thailand — not by choice. And yet: something reset. The emotional noise went quiet. I came back to the charts and actually saw price again.
March 31, 20266 min read →
 02
Trade Review
The T1 ORB Lesson That Cost Me a Funded Account
Stop below the wick — not below the range level. I knew this. I took the trade anyway.
April 24, 20264 min read →
 03
Psychology
Why I Trade Better in Berlin Than Southeast Asia
The data is clear. Blowup rate near zero in Berlin. The environment is not irrelevant — it's everything.
May 20263 min read →
 04
Rules
The Destruction Cycle: Eval Accounts During Funded Phases
The multi-month self-sabotage loop identified. Opening evals while funded — and tilting into them.
May 20263 min read →
 05
Setup Archive
A+ vs A vs B: My Setup Quality Hierarchy
What separates a trade taken with conviction from one taken out of boredom.
May 20265 min read →
Rules

Trading principles

  • 01
    No market prep = no trade
    Levels marked before session open. Trading after travel or high-stress events is prohibited. Fatigue is a documented risk factor.
  • 02
    Standard size: 1 NQ Mini. Hardcap: never 5 NQ Mini.
    Downgrade to 5 MNQ only in extreme poor mental state or ATR chop. No exceptions.
  • 03
    Peak drawdown rule: 50% intraday peak = logout
    If P&L falls 50% from intraday peak — immediate logout. No discretion, no continuation.
  • 04
    Max 1 trade per day until buffer established
    Until funded buffer reaches $1,500–$2,000. No parallel eval accounts while funded.
  • 05
    Immediate payout requests
    Profits withdrawn as soon as TPT permits. Never allow profits to accumulate and be re-risked.
Performance

Account dashboard

Current Account
TPT 25K Eval
Status
Active • 50%+ Target
Prop Firm
TPT
Account Size
$25K
Payout Split
80 / 20
Instrument
NQM6